Choices!!!!

As the summer winds down and I prepare for the upcoming school year I am facing some emotions that I'm not sure I like and that I know I must deal with!  It seems that with each passing year, with my increased involvement with the community around me and the graduating of another of my own children from our home school my passion for this choice in education grows.  As it grows however, I realize that others are making completely opposite choices and walking away from home education for various reasons.  Almost daily my phone rings and a parent is expressing their desire to learn about home education for the first time;  having spent  years in the public school system and seeking something different for their children.  As I endeavor to encourage them and explain how education styles vary and the benefits to the children are because of the different styles, etc. I find it somewhat frustrating. The lack of understanding of why so many do what we do has shocked me.   After spending a while in a high school guidance counselor's office, speaking with the counselor and the school principal, I realized that the information they have concerning quality home education is completely bogus.  Where did they get this information?   We seem to have lost our purposes, our understanding of what is and is not beneficial and why we've made the choices we've made.  Are we on the same path we were on when we started?  Have we drifted and become too much like all the other educators:  only a little more frazzled?  Are we giving the "outside" world the wrong idea because we aren't fulfilling our roles effectively?  These are the questions I am wrestling with.  As I look at each of my children and I see 9 varying personalities, 9 completely different sets of gifts, 9 completely different sets of ambitions and interests, and 9 different learning styles...  I am more determined than ever to dig in, to prepare myself and my home, to build a support system around and invest my life into my children, my home;  where they happen to be educated. 

If you are watching others around you and feeling discouraged and alone, let me encourage you this morning.  Each family has the decision to make for their own children.  It is not our job to judge those who have chosen a different path than ours as wrong.  It is not our job to convince anyone to do it "our way".  It is our job to do justice to the decision we have made, to honor that decision by giving it our all, to study our children and invest in them individually as they need and to encourage others who are walking the same path across town.  Yes, it can be lonely.  Yes, you are giving up some personal time, some friend time, some luxuries that others seem to enjoy at will.  Don't begrudge them their choices and don't make yourself a martyr.   Do the task in such a way that you are gaining the most valuable gift of all:  a relationship with your children that is strong enough to handle whatever is thrown at you, the privilege of preparing your children for life and giving them  roots to spread their wings in the most amazing way, and the joy of knowing that you did your best for their benefit.  Let's get ready, get set and go make this the best year yet!  And while we're doing that, let's love those who do it differently!  We've not all been called to the same task. 

Summer Time for Homeschoolers!

Yes, summer is here!  My "to do" list is looming large and my "task completed" list is... well not quite so large!
As homeschooling families we tend to push ourselves non-stop.  Have you noticed that?  We wrap up the school year - or some of us partially wrap up the school year, and we start planning for the next.  I'm learning that in the middle of all of this I simply MUST take time to rest, to laugh, to love on my children and to PLAY!  It's amazing how when we do this, we are energized to get back to the grind and actually accomplish more in a day than we did before we took some breaks.  I hope you will schedule your next week with some scheduled rest and play in there.

Our family found a way to Honor Dad, show him our love AND make progress on some much needed projects this week.  We tackled our garage, our overly "storaged" basement and we cleaned, hauled off, cleaned and organized for the entire week.  Each night we sighed and smiled as we looked over our progress.  On Sunday we will take the father down and give him a tour.  I'm confident that the organized garage and clean basement will give him much more pleasure than a new shirt, tie or anything else would have.  I'm also confident that learning to work hard for the benefit of someone else has taught my children valuable lessons.  Did I mention that we found many things that we forgot we owned - including curriculum from years past that had been boxed up and forgotten? 

Today we rest, tomorrow we worship and love on Dad and Monday we begin another week, planned and scheduled to accomplish much, but filled with fun, rest breaks and love of family. 

If you are near Brevard, NC I hope you will visit http://www.homeschoolingwithpurpose.com while planning for the fall of 2011~  We have exciting plans!

Prayer Answered~~

During the last week of March I was feeling especially weary, alone and battle worn.  As He sometimes does in the early morning hours, the Lord seemed to wake me up and call me to a special, quiet time with Him.  As I gathered my Bible and glasses together I wondered if I would even be able to stay awake or focus to think through a clear prayer.  As it happened, for the next 3 hours I did nothing but read and pray intermittently. 

I realized during this time that I was doubting God's hand in some very real battles.  As I prayed and cried out to Him concerning my weariness and admitting that I was not sure how much longer I could continue on I felt that I was wrestling with my God.   "Where are you?"  "Why haven't you done Your work so that I don't have to keep fighting?"  "Do you really care about this relationship, and about this work?"  On and on my prayer went. 

In the end I began just reading Psalms and praising Him regardless of how I felt.  By the time the rest of my family began to wake up and move about the house I felt a peace and the strength that I needed to face the day. 

A trip to Charlotte for a softball game was on the schedule for the day.  After making the drive we received the phone call that the game had been canceled.  Feeling very frustrated for having spent so much money for gas and food and arranging the family schedule for this useless trip, we decided to walk through the mall before heading back home. 

Just as we were leaving the mall a gentleman who I had just met the week before waved me down and said he had something to tell me.  His words were something like this:  "I was praying this morning, around 4 a.m. and the Lord brought you to my mind.  He told me to pray for you.  I told Him that I didn't know you and we had just met.  He gave me a picture of you in a boxing ring.  You were fighting a battle for your family, for the work God has called you to do and your heart has been broken by someone or something.  I don't know what and I don't need to... He said that you are exhausted, your strength is almost gone and you feel like you are about to fall... but He told me to tell you that He is listening.  Your heart will be healed, your fight will end and you will be able to once again live in victory;  to live your name,  Joy.  I don't know what this is about but He told me to give you this message." 

Now, when God does something so amazing in the hearts of two of His children and we know about it...  how can we ever doubt Him?  What a joy and peace I felt just knowing that my God cares enough to speak so clearly.  Prayer is real.  It is communicating our hearts to our Father and listening for His communication to us.  Let's take this seriously!

Mom, the Multi-tasker~

While watching the activity going on in and around my office today a gentleman commented, "Joy, you must be a great multi-tasker~"  I stopped to think about what all of the action around him must look like and I had to laugh.  "Aren't all moms?" 

Rarely do we sit down and make a list of all of the things we are called upon to accomplish in a day, but when we do for some reason...  if you are like me you shake your own head and wonder, "HOW?" 

I'm sure that we could all learn some things from one another if you are willing to share some ideas on how you do accomplish all that is required of you in a twenty-four hour period.  So, get on here and share! 

Not All The Same

No, all homeschooling families are not created equal~  We are not all the same size, not all the same shape, don't all have the same belief system, do not all use the same curriculum, do not home educate for the same reasons and most definitely cannot all be painted with the same broad brush!  Why is it that those on the "outside" of home education seem to have their own stereotype for us?  And why is it that we tend to look to outside so much for approval, for reassurance and for guidance?  

Just this past week I entered into a debate unknowingly with an individual who had some definite ideas about "us."  She was shocked when I didn't prolong the debate but instead acknowledged that my children are just like other children;  just educated in a different way than most.  Why did she expect me to defend my choice in schooling, defend my children as perfect models, and get upset when she didn't agree?  I'm not quite sure but I do know that no matter how loud one may scream, no matter how beautifully one may debate and no matter how often we defend our choices there are going to be some people who really don't want to be persuaded toward our choices and we are wasting our breath debating with them.  I also know that "we" have a variety of motives, styles, outcomes and personalities in our homes.  

Let's take what is best about our individual home schools and share with one another, so that we can each become the best that we can possibly be.  Take the time to share:  choose the questions you would like to answer and please comment on this blog - for the benefit of others.

Questions:

*Why did you choose to home school in the first place?

*Do you follow a year round school calendar or do you follow the traditional calendar?

*Do you use any video curriculum, internet classes, co-op, or tutorial classes?

*What is most helpful to you in way of support systems?

*Have you yet graduated any of your students?

*What has been the most difficult aspect of home schooling for you?

I'm sure there are many other topics that you may want to cover.  Let's just get the communication started.  Remember, none of us has the corner on this.  We can all learn from one another.  Iron sharpens iron.  That's our goal.

Why Do You Home School Anyway?

WHY HOME SCHOOL?

The following was in response to some very critical statements made in a local meeting by the School Superintendent.  

When I awoke this morning I received a disturbing message from someone regarding a commissioners meeting this week and some comments you, as school superintendent, made about homeschooling. As a mother of 9, several of which you have met, and as a dedicated homeschooling educator I am continually disturbed by negative and often ill informed comments that are thrown out there about homeschooling in general.

First of all, you and others who make public or even private comments about something that you obviously don't completely understand is nothing short of slanderous. My teen children face comments regularly from other teens who know nothing about what we do, or why we do it, and they are getting their fuel from adults. As a Christian, which I know you are, this should convict your heart. It breaks mine, when my 14 year old daughter is mocked on the softball field because she is home schooled; having to work twice as hard to prove that she is still capable of playing sports, of attending social functions, etc. This is not my fault, it is not her fault, it is the fault of the adults who make negative, unfounded comments.

Secondly, as a mother who has graduated 2 home school students and plans to graduate 7 more before it is over... I haven't sacrificed my own career, every day of my life for more than 23 years now so that my children can play at home. We are dedicated to giving our children the best, well rounded education humanly possible. In addition we are able to allow our children to pursue their gifts and abilities beyond anything the school system is capable of. We have chosen to sacrifice much for the privilege of investing in our children beyond the norm, and your comments are a slap in the face to that. No, everyone does not do so in a quality manner, but the majority do! Studies prove that. Also, every public school isn't doing it up to par either. No matter how we educate our children, there will be those teachers who succeed and those who are barely getting by. That doesn't make you a failure as superintendent.

Thirdly, there is no way to make the next statement without sounding like a bragging mother. The fact is both of the sons that we have graduated so far have gone on to prove that their education was lacking in no area, that they were beyond prepared for life, leadership and success. Both received academic scholarships based on their SAT scores, I received verbal and written commendation from college professors on their wisdom beyond their years in the classroom and they are serving country and the Lord while pursuing further education. They love to learn, consuming books that most adults don't dare try to read. Joey serves as Instructor in the Air Force Honor Guard at this time: after initially being told by a recruiter that they would not even speak to him because his diploma was from a home school. After seeing his SAT scores, they agreed to allow him to take the ASVAB. His scores were so high on this that he was shipped out within the week, graduated Honor Graduate of basic, chosen for Honor Guard and graduated Honor Graduate of Honor Guard Training. He was taken to Arlington where he served for about a year and a half before they made him the instructor there. In their words, "He is the best of the best!"

Joshua, after having to turn down basketball scholarships due to a severe concussion, received academic scholarships for his college education. He is now making a difference in the lives of hundreds of teens through a ministry that we founded and run together. The lives that are daily pointed to Christ through his life will reap eternal benefits beyond any earthly success imaginable.

I'm so glad as you stated that their mother/educator had a pulse!

Fourthly, I understand that you stated that we are taking money away from your school system?! Now, this one really, really slaps hard working families in the face. Our taxes go to the public school system that we receive NO BENEFITS from! While families who place their children into the system that we help pay for have the opportunity for their children to participate in extracurricular activities like sports, fine arts, etc., we pay dearly for ours to do so. We pay well over $500 per season, per student, per sport to participate in an organization that has been established for home school families. We are very grateful for a group of families who have worked tirelessly to make available for us what the school system denies our children, but we do pay dearly for it.

As you can see from just the four areas that I have pointed out, homeschooling is not for the faint of heart. It is not done on a whim, and many of us are doing it well. We are doing it as a sacrifice and service to our children, believing that because we have their best interest at heart we can offer them so much more. We sacrifice financially beyond anything you can imagine; giving up careers, paying for every book, paper, test, experiment, meals during the days, music lessons, sports involvement, and much more. We sacrifice freedoms; giving up personal time, vacations, even rooms of our homes in order to spend the majority of our time focused on the needs of our children. Your negative comments toward our entire community this week were incredibly insensitive, off base and hurtful.

Thank you for your time.

Learning to Change

There are just some times when I know that a recurring theme is running through my mind.  Lately it is a theme of willingness for change.  Often I am reminded as the mother of 5 adolescents that life is not as it once was!  Yes, when my sons who are now in their 20s were teens there were challenges that were new since my own teen years, but today it seems the challenges grow with each new day.  The access of every sort of media, our reliance on cell phones, texting and social media outlets are just a way of life.  There is something new to learn each day in order to stay up to date, and there are new parenting challenges that come with all of the access.  I can only imagine what our culture will be like when our youngest children enter their teen years.  
Am I wishing for the "good ole days?"  I'll have to admit that sometimes I do.  A slower pace, more time around the dinner table, lack of competition with the cell phones...  all of this has its allure.  And yet, the fact is:  this is our life.  We do live in 2011 and in order to function in 2011 and be a light in the culture in which we live we may as well accept all of the change and learn how to keep our integrity, our core values and train our children to do the same.  
The point?  This theme that keeps running through my mind is simple really in theory;  though tough to actually carry out.  Understand that our teens are not living in the day that we grew up in.  Flex when it is possible to flex.  Determine what is so important that we must stand firm and then allow change where necessary.  In our home education this is also true.  What works one year may need to change according to the needs of the student the next.  We cannot be so set in our ideas of how things must be that we are unwilling to make changes.  
Welcome to home education in 2011.  It looks very little like the home education I began in 1987!